Sunday, February 6, 2011

side note

So I haven't done the challenge in forever, or written in here but tonight I need to.

I haven't been the same... I guess you guys havent known me long, but if you knew me before my parents divorce, or highschool even you would have known I was a generally happy person. That all changed in high school or maybe even after my parents divorce.

Lately I have been at my worst; crying every night, letting everything get to me, and even contemplating suicide. I never use to be this way. I wish to God I could just be happy again, and not like something good has happened to me so I'll be happy, but just a happy in general person.

Today the steelers lost the SuperBowl and I cried...... over the SuperBowl! what the hell is wrong with me?  I've literally cried almost every night this week, and that's not normal. I'm currently sitting next to a bag of a bunch of pills and it's taking so much will to not take them all.

God I hate being this girl, I use to HATE this girl now I'm her. Please to god let this go away...